Getting Ready
I remember the moment of discouragement when my poetry and creative blog started dwindling. I had been walking in this creative place at such a great pace. Anything around me was a prompt. I was waking up in the middle of the night with words spilling out of my soul. I couldn’t help but notice every drop of water on the windshield or give myself extra time to get somewhere just so I could go on a walk.
I was enjoying every moment, but then I wrote something that felt a little more raw. It talked about grief; the breath, pulse and song within it. It probably could have been a series of pieces, but I shared just one from a dream I had and then I stopped.
Discouragement can be detrimental. It can be nasty, because it sneaks in like a small thing. It makes you pause just once, then it slows you down just enough to make you think you’re making progress, but you’re really just making excuses and actually slowing down. I didn’t even acknowledge the pain or hurt at the time. It wasn’t until recently (a year and half later?) that I actually saw and addressed it. It just kind of crept in, but it stupefied my creative journey.
I started to question and then I began doubting. I stopped, then tried to continue, but then I stopped; stunted… and it has been back and forth like that for too long. I feel dumb admitting it, but all the stop and go was for the approval of others. Others that I don’t think even knew I was looking for their approval. Others that aren’t responsible for anything like that. Others who really don’t have a say in my life or what I’m doing. Others that do love me and I love them, but there’s a boundary.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you can’t, but I’m ready to get out of that boat and get in a new one. I’m saying, “no more.” I’m not in that place anymore. I’m in a new space, in my own lane and I’m getting ready. If you can relate, I’d love to invite you with me on this journey to do what we love, notice what we notice and share what we want to share.
It’s in the noticing that we can appreciate life, and it’s in the expression of that noticing that we can point out the beauty all around us so others can see it too. I see it now. I thought I needed approval, but approval is not confirmation. And we don’t need people’s approval or confirmation. It’s nice to have that aligning echo with purpose, but that comes as it comes in a timely manner and I’m taking one step at a time.
All this to say, I’ve been in a funk because life has been hard and I finally slowed myself down to admit that. It’s like I was trying to run forward with everything I had, but I was forgetting pieces of myself along the way. I wasn’t being creative. I wasn’t writing like I wanted to. I wasn’t, wasn’t, wasn’t, but I have control over my life. You do too.
What do you need to embrace who you are? What do you need to get creative again?
I’m asking myself these questions. (The right questions, not the doubting questions that suck all of the air out of a room.) What questions do you need to ask yourself to light that fire within? And will you come with me on this creative journey?
It’s time to inspire each other to ignite our creativity. We don’t have to run away or lose our way.
It’s okay.
You’re okay.
I’m okay.
We have things to be thankful for and things to notice right where we are. We have life to live and a purpose to take hold of. Are you ready?
LISTEN
I’m Getting Ready by Tasha Cobbs Leonard, Nicki Minaj
