Trace and Linger
Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash
I have to ask, what really matters to you? Why do you do it? Day in and day out, you tie yourself up and then release the wrong pieces of yourself for the world to trash and intoxicate with failed attempts at happiness. Peace is a foreign concept, because even when you slow down and close your eyes to breathe, you still wrestle. I’m not above you. I’m actually most likely, but unhappily with you to the point that I feign silence as peace, but the scream of perfection never stops. It can’t be satisfied until every part of you burns for something sacred.
What does it really mean? What are you searching for? I’m reminded of the strain of being stretched between the past and the future. Being stretched so thin that the present can’t be conceived because your eyes are elsewhere. Your mind becomes distant and you call it dreaming. I follow your sad, far off stare, restless for an answer, but metal scratching metal is not iron sharpening iron. That can’t be the answer and it isn’t. It’s insanity and it’s torment.
You’re not supposed to be tortured by the promise of life and dreams and yet all you feel is weary when you think of reaching further. But it’s because you’re not really reaching. You’re being stretched and confusing it for your own effort, but it’s not yours and it’s not working. The knife is pointed in the wrong direction. When all you do is fill your mind up with the wrong conversation to develop a divided answer and dwindle down into an unsteady state of confusion.
What does it all add up to? When is it enough for you to let go? Sometimes our thoughts are too many and too much. Sometimes our emotions create the biggest waves and storms that we were never meant to swim through. When the negativity in your life outweighs the positive, that’s when you’ve been divided with strife. Division is not multiplication, so stop cutting the meat in half and expecting it not to rot when you don’t even cook it.
Get back to the heart of growth, the purity behind a positive thought and the joy of being present enough to linger. Linger and notice and dance. Trace the tips of your fingers with the lining of the sun. Lift your arms in the air carelessly and spin around. Become a student once more. Slow down enough so that time becomes a resource again and not the enemy. Steal glances in the mirror to remind yourself that you’re magnificent right here and right now. You don’t have to give yourself away to the frailties of this world. You don’t have to over extend yourself beyond what’s healthy. And you don’t have to live with a wild and divided heart.
Trust the day that has been given to you. Hold onto your dreams, but not so tight that you lose sight of who you are. Your dreams need you to know who you are. The people around you appreciate you for who you are. Be loyal. Be faithful. Be obedient and pursue the tiny passions in each day. Cherish you being you and people simply being people. Smile when no one is looking and look fondly on each moment. Rediscover what it means to lead a quiet life with peace behind the scenes.
