Life in the Silence Between
They say that wisdom comes in the moment and you have a choice to either follow it, or disregard and keep operating in your own awareness, which by the way, is pretty reckless, but that’s only because I made it on the other side of some questionable places, because I thought I was “wise.”
There’s a difference between discerning wisdom and actually living it out. It’s easy to see it, but not live it. It’s easy to let things slide. It really is. If you don’t believe me, just watch one more Netflix show after you’ve binged for the day. I’m sorry if that’s personal. But, you know?
The delay is real and I feel like I’m fighting, not only for my time, but my perspective, and my processing, and my growing, and my healing. My quiet, my peace and my progress. My silence and even my free will. How many times have I hopped on Instagram for a few minutes and come out thinking about something entirely different than what I went in wanting for my life? I feel like sometimes, if I’m not careful social media, or really, any one, can re-orient my goals and make me start striving for the things that I don’t even really want.
I’ve had real moments where friends say, “You need to write a book!” And all of a sudden, I’m on a spinning wheel trying not to prick my finger on some one else’s dream or idea. It isn’t bad, it just isn’t me or maybe the timing is just not quite aligned and that’s important to see and be confident in.
Or some one says, “Yeah, I feel like I’m really struggling with my patience lately…” and as they go into depth about their pitfalls and insecurities, weaknesses and sad moments, all of a sudden, because I can see their perspective, I think… oh. my. gosh. Me too! And I’m on a train wreck to actually obtaining a l l t h e i s s u e s.
So, while I continue to consider my health and maintain self-awareness, I also recognize the importance of quiet and silence, of bible study and prayer, of meditation and calm.
It’s been a week of trying to be kind to my body. Of challenging myself to be a little more intuitive and asking myself, “Hey, how do you feel?” And being willing to hear, “THAT does not make me feel good.” And then, being willing to say… “Okay, I won’t do that any more.”
Moments of saying goodbye to comforts like coffee and experiencing the
p o t e n c y & c l a r i t y of black tea in the morning.
Moments of passing and moments of failing, but mostly moments of making progress. Progress that I don’t normally acknowledge. Progress that I’m learning to credit small wins toward. Progress that only comes if I pause and take advantage of making a choice to intentionally become.
As I challenge myself to get up and be physical in my activity and not just mental in all my thinking, I’m also aware of the power of silence.
I’m aware that a good morning routine is important to me. I need silence, definitive choice and practice. It’s time to let silence fill the moments around me. That’s one of my favorite parts of music.
Claude Debussy said it best, “Music is the silence between the notes. The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between.”
I’ll be honest, I don’t actually like silence. I usually have the t.v. on, a good podcast, or an audio book in the background. But I’m going to challenge myself this week to allow some silence in my moments. Like, intentionally. It’s time to let wisdom speak in places where I wouldn’t normally be listening. It’s time to just let silence be silence, so I can live in it, see what it feels like and recognize what my life means in the silent moments. Even if I don’t like it at first.
Silence is actually part of life. It isn’t the absence of it. And I’m riding on a theory that silence and strategic stillness can empower moments of clear decision making.
I feel like silence could be like mischief… like it has more to offer even though you don’t notice it at first. Like it’s hiding a secret power, or is the key to other dimensions. I think silence holds claim to a certain portion of life that I have yet to recognize and there’s an entire world in it. I’m curious about silence.
Curious about what silence has to say.
We’ll see what happens, but let curiosity win over the one who just simply wants to know more, yet rest in it all, and discover what it means when you give yourself away to stillness . . .
